Eubanks For Christ

Making Time

2011-09-06T07:36:00.000-04:00

As I was reading Matthew 14, I noticed something that I hadn't caught before in my reading of this chapter. It was very thought provoking when I began to really think about the application for my life. In verses 1-12 we see the story of John the Baptist being beheaded. Verse 13 says, "When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat to a solitary place." As we often see, the people followed Him. Verse 14 says, "When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick." In verses 15-21 we see that Jesus feeds the 5,000. Verse 22-23 says, "Immediately Jesus made the disciples get into the boat and go on ahead of him to the other side, while he dismissed the crowd. After he had dismissed them, he went up on a mountainside by himself to pray." Jesus' goal after hearing of John the Baptist was to go be alone in a solitary place. But because the people followed Him he could not. So when He saw the large crowd He had compassion on them and healed their sick. Because it was getting late the disciples wanted Him to send the people away so they could get something to eat, but instead Jesus feeds them. Afterwards He sent his disciples on ahead of Him, dismissed the people, and finally went up on the mountainside to pray. He still made sure He got alone with His Father. So I began to look at my life and ask :what am I doing to make sure I get alone with God? When my children get up before I do and is not quiet and I go about my busy day homeschooling and taking care of the home, do I make sure I go to a solitary place and spend time with my Father? Jesus served the people but He also made time to be alone to pray! I believe He also so it as an important or urgent thing because v22 starts with the word "immediately". Do I see the urgency in spending time with the Father? Or do I recognize the the urgency but don't follow through and obey? Heavy thoughts from God's Word!!

spiked hair-

2011-04-22T15:59:00.000-04:00

The little brothers are wanting to be like big brother (I didn't get a picture of Timothy, but he got his hair spiked also).

More on the Names of God

2011-04-22T15:35:00.001-04:00

I am still working through the Bible Study Knowing God Through His Names by Mariel Davenport. Yes I am taking it at a snail's pace because the class is over with. It is such a good study, and I have to take time to let it sink in. Now I am working through Yahweh Shammah which means "Yahweh is There". God is a present God. Deuteronomy 31:6 says, "Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you." I have heard these words all my life that He will never leave you nor forsake you. But looking at it from a different way has really brought new meaning or understanding of this passage. If He says He will never leave you nor forsake you then He is a present God. He is omnipresent which means He is present everywhere. From the beginning of time God has always wanted relationship with his people. What does that mean or what does that look like? Growing up in church I learned all the little Bible stories and that was a good thing. But I think what was left out from teaching these Bible stories was that God was making Himself known to people because He wanted that relationship with His people. God showed the Israelites so many times that He loved them. He delivered them from the hand of the Egyptians, parted the Red Sea and they walked across. God didn't just part the Red Sea, He made the ground for them to walk on dry. WOW! Does that not speak volumes to us. Again He shows his desire for a relationship and love for us. Do I go throughout my day and miss those little details of God in my life? God is a present God! He is Yahweh Shammah! Further on God gives the Israelites rules-The Ten Commandments. His first priority in writing the Commandments was Godward. They focus on our relationship with Him. Details and purpose! He so desires relationship with us. He wanted a tabernacle built and wanted it built in a specific way so He gave specific details on the building of it. God gave detailed directions for every single object and piece of material in the tabernacle. Why is God so specific? Hebrews 8:5 says, "They serve at a sanctuary that is a copy and shadow of what is in Heaven." WOW! God told Moses to build the earthly sanctuary for His glory after a heavenly pattern only He could see. God showed his pleasure for this tabernacle by filling it with His glory. What was God's purpose and desire for the tabernacle? Exodus 25:8 tells us it was for Him to dwell among them. Again He is always after relationship. Ezekiel prophesied in 37:27: "My dwelling place will be with them; I will be their God, and they will be my people." John 1:14 says, "The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth." God tabernacled among His people through His Son, Jesus, and He revealed to us His glory, the glory of the One and Only. Guess what? He didn't stop there 1 Corinthians 3:16-17 tells us that our bodies are the temple of God and His Spirit lives in us. We as individual believers are tabernacles of His glory. How do we demonstrate that glory to a lost and dying world? Are we bearing much fruit showing ourselves to be His disciples (John 15:8)? Is Jesus tabernacling in our hearts? Is He dwelling place in our hearts? O Lord, please show me areas in my heart and life that need the fruit applied according to Galatians 5:22-23! Thank You for so desiring to dwell among me. Thank you that you are involved in every detail of my life. May I walk in that promise that You will never leave me nor forsake me that you are always present.

Who/What is Master of your life?

2011-03-01T16:28:00.000-05:00

As I continue to look at the name of the Lord, Adonai, I have learned that it means "lord" or "master". As I look at the word master I have to evaluate what that means. As far as Adonai, it is refers to our God as our personal Lord and Master. It completely depicts relationship. "The lordship of God means His total possession of me and my total submission to Him as Lord and Master." (Knowing God Through His Names", p 83) I am a slave to something or someone. 2 Peter 2:19 says "for a man is a slave to whatever has mastered him." We are a slave to whatever has mastered us! Am I a slave to sin or a slave to righteousness? What have I allowed to master me? Confession time again! As I pondered this verse, I began to see that the Lord is not the Master of my life most of the time. I think I allow the computer or tv/movies or laziness to master me. I believe this is the same concept of having idols of the heart. Whatever or whoever we put above God and my time with Him is an idol of my heart. God says in Exodus, "You shall have no other gods before me". Although I have not literally built a "golden calf" as the Israelites did, I have allowed an idol to occupy my time and my thoughts. I have replaced God with things. Are they satisfying? No, only temporarily. I am seeking things to fill a need that is not going to fill it. It could be my husbands approval, friends approval, my kids approval that I seek to fill a need. These things more than likely will not always happen and when I don't receive approval like I think I should I am disappointed and let down. I should seek my sufficiency in the all sufficient one, the El Shaddai. He is the one who nourishes, supplies, and satisfies. I should seek to make Him Master of my life. If I do that I will not need to seek after other things to fill a need that He ultimately fill.

Lord, please help me to daily make you Master of my life. To seek you first above all things. To remain in You. I so desire to have the intimacy with you that you would speak with me "face to face as a man speaks with his friend". May I take captive those thoughts and make them obedient to you.

Upward Basketball and Cheerleading

2011-02-26T15:26:00.002-05:00

We have Upward again. These are just a few photos. Paul is assistant coach for Jonathan's team and he also is a referee for other games. Abigail cheers and does a good job! Noah, Timothy, and I watch which is a little challenging because Noah wants to get on the court and play with the ball. It is a lot of fun! Timothy is not in to it too much. He's in the picture with his face covered with his shirt. Didn't want to get his picture taken.

Being a Servant

2011-02-26T13:44:00.000-05:00

My friend, Mariel, has written and published a Women's Bible Study titled "Knowing God Through His Names". (Sorry Mariel I'm a little behind, but it's God's timing.) This lesson is on Who Is Adonai? The first thing we learn is that if He is our Adonai then He must me Master of our life and we are servant to Him. This is actually a beautiful picture. In Day 2 we start off looking at what the world view is of "great" and "powerful" versus Biblical view. As we see in Matthew 20:26-28 what the Bible's view of greatness is totally opposite of the world. Matthew reads, "...Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave--just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." This shows greatness as becoming a servant. V. 27 tells us to be first we have to be a servant. Then it ends up showing us that Jesus is an example for us. He didn't come to be served but instead to serve others and eventually giving his life for the payment of sin rescuing us from the wrath of God. So here is a question to ponder deeply-"are we looking for who we can serve, or are we looking to be served?" So confession time for me. This was a convicting question for me especially after the week I've had. The thought doesn't stop there. Mariel goes on to ask some questions for us to evaluate our hearts: "am I frustrated when I have to pick up my husband's socks for the tenth time today? Do I get short-tempered with my children when they interrupt my "me" time? Am I willing to joyfully cook a meal for a neighbor in need or serve in the church nursery, even though I don't "feel" like it? Do I live for "me"?" I wish I could say I was looking to be like Jesus and serve with a willing heart. Unfortunately, like my friend and probably many others, I often seek out to serve self rather than deny self. For me I find it easier to serve others more than my family. I think I'm more selfish when it comes to my family and serving them. This week really was an example of that. Here's how my week has been: during the previous weekend Noah, my 2 year old, began having a yucky, runny nose. On Monday after meeting with a friend, I was hanging out with Paul and Noah watching a little TV when all of a sudden I'm wearing vomit-nice soured milk and chocolate mixed with it. I thought maybe it was because he had too much cookie dough, but later in the evening he became sick again-thus the stomach bug has hit our family. I was up off and on all night. Then late Thursday night/early Friday morning Timothy gets sick. By this time now I'm really exhausted and just want to sleep. Now I'm keeping an eye on Noah hoping he is better and being close by for Timothy for the times he would get sick. So far I'm handling things ok. Not the total servants heart, but not totally into self yet. I'm still very tired though and really wanting to sleep. During all this time I'm not feeling so hot either; feeling very sick but not getting sick. Friday Timothy moped around and was out of it. You could really tell he was sick. Friday evening Abigail starts complaining about her stomach hurting. Oh no I thought. Of all the ones to get sick, I really don't want her to be sick because she whines a bit more. By now I've really had about all the whining I think I could handle from Noah. This week, also, Paul had the opportunity to help a gentleman out at his office, so he's been gone all day until bedtime and having to get up really early for the paper route. Now Abigail is sick and whining and I'm totally tired and wanting a vacation of peace and quiet. Now I'm looking at the thought of "when do I get a break". I now have no patience, and compassion went out the window when Abigail started complaining with her stomach hurting. So when I read this lesson today I was slapped in the face. I'm so into what I can get for me instead of serving my sick children and husband (who also is battling with some type of sickness). Definitely not a servants heart!!!

Then we see another beautiful example of servitude in Matthew 14:1-21. In verses 1-12 we see John the Baptist is beheaded. V. 13 & 14 says, "When Jesus heard what had happened, he withdrew by boat privately to a solitary place. Hearing of this, the crowds followed him on foot from the towns. When Jesus landed and saw a large crowd, he had compassion on them and healed their sick." Jesus was trying to get away and be alone with God to deal with His grief and here comes the crowd. This crowd was full of people with needs-sick people, disabled people, dying people, possessed people. "Imagine the noise, the smells, and the depth of depravity closing in around Him, as His soul mourns for John. Jesus was fully man and fully God. He felt emotion, grief, and pain. He grew tired, weary, and hungry." (pg 93, Knowing God...) Verse 14 tells us that first Jesus had compassion on them and secondly he healed their sick. "In the midst of the deep needs of His own soul, He chose to deny self and serve others with compassion."(93) Verse 15 & 16 tells us it was evening. The disciples wanted to send the people away so they could get food. What do we see Jesus do? Serve again! He fed the crowd. "Our Savior chooses to serve again. What a model for us! What a Master we serve that He denies Himself for our sakes, out of compassionate love." (93)

So how can I mimic Jesus' example of servitude in my own life as I live out my service to my Master Jesus? There are so many things in my heart that I have to work on. I'm so very thankful that Jesus is my example and shows me my own heart at just the time I need it. I pray that my heart would be to serve my family (and others) above myself no matter how I'm feeling at the time. Jesus had compassion; therefore I must show compassion. I need to become a servant like Christ.

(Thanks Mariel for being real and letting Jesus use you in so many ways and in so many lives! I love you dear friend!)

The Son is the radiance of God's glory

2011-01-14T15:45:00.000-05:00

Hebrews 1:3 "The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word." I am working through a study on Hebrews, and I came across this verse from chapter 1. This particular section in the study book dealt with verse 3 and particularly the phrase "the Son is the radiance of God's glory". I want to share what I read:

"We see the sun by means of seeing the rays of the sun. They are the essence of the sun flowing out of the sun. The round ball of fire that we see in the sky is the sun streaming forth in its radiance. To say that Jesus is the radiance of God's glory is to say that Jesus relates to God the way the rays of sunlight relate to the sun. We see God the Father by seeing Jesus. Jesus is the radiance of God streaming down on us so we can see him and experience him and know him."

"The term 'God's glory' had deeper meaning for the original Hebrew recipients of this letter than it does for us today. These Hebrews remembered hearing about the glory cloud of God's presence that lit the sky and led the children of Israel in the desert. It was the tangible presence of God in their midst. And now the writer of Hebrews is saying that Jesus is the ultimate cloud of glory. In fact, Jesus is the fire of God's glory that will not burn or consume us. Jesus enables us to relate to the glory of God in human form."

"Standing in the Temple one day, Jesus said, 'I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life' (John 8:12). We live in a dark world, and perhaps there are circumstances in your life right now that would cause you to say that your world is very dark. Into the darkness of this world God sent his Son, Jesus, so that we could see and live in the radiance of his glory. Even now, Jesus is the only sure source of light for the dark places in our lives. He brings the radiant light of God's presence into our darkness."

My favorite part of this is the last paragraph. We do live in a dark world, and I have talked with friends lately who are in circumstances in their lives that would cause them to say the world is dark. But because God sent his Son we can see and live in the radiance of God's glory. I pray that my friends as well as myself will remember that Jesus is the only source of light for the dark places that in our lives. Jesus brings the radiant light of God's presence into our darkness. How encouraging and hopeful for us when we are walking in a dark time. We can walk through those dark times with joy and peace because of the radiance of God's glory.

My observations from Genesis 4

2010-12-30T10:04:00.000-05:00

I have been reading in Genesis lately. I was reading chapter 4 which talks about Cain and Abel. The first part of the chapter deals with the offerings. We see that Abel kept flocks and Cain worked the soil. The Bible says that Cain brought some of the fruits of the soil as an offering, but Abel brought the fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock. It is interesting to me that verse 3 starts out "in the course of time" (NIV). (Back to that point in a moment) Really it wasn't about the contrast between an offering of plant life and an offering of animal life. It was all about the heart issue. It is about a careless, thoughtless offering and a choice, generous offering. Hebrews 11:4 says "By faith Abel offered God a better sacrifice than Cain did...." It was the motivation and attitude of the heart. These are all-important and God looked with favor on Abel and his offering because of Abel's faith. What is our heart motivation and attitude when we offer up a sacrifice or when we serve? Do we do things by faith like Abel with a happy heart and willingness to serve and give of ourselves or do we do things out of routine or just because it needs to be done or it makes you "look good"? Do we do all things to glorify and honor God? What is the motivation for my serving and giving?

Now back to the point from verse 3. Do you think Cain started off giving with the right heart and over time grew weary and became bitter? I don't know. The commentary notes from MacArthur's Study Bible says for verses 4 & 5 "Abel's offering was acceptable, not just because it was an animal, nor just because it was the very best of what he had, nor even that it was the culmination of a zealous heart for God; but, because it was in every way obediently given according to what God must have revealed (though not recorded in Genesis). Cain, disdaining the divine instruction, just brought what he wanted to bring: some of his crop." Verse 7 The Lord ask him (Cain): "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" Obedience was the key here. But was he always bent toward disobedience or did he gradually become this way? At any rate, when you stop and think about the statement "in the course of time" or as the New King James says "And in the process of time it came to pass", what would be the ending to that statement for your life and heart? "In the course of time she/he grew stronger in their walk with the Lord" or "In the course of time she/he grew further away from God?" Is Jesus all that you and I need? Do we live that out?

God is faithful!

2010-12-09T22:43:00.000-05:00

What a week! I left the house this evening to run an errand. I was totally exhausted but needed to get out. As I'm riding down the road I began to think about how things have gone this week in my house. I have switched some things up for my kids as far as school and chores. I have been blown away at the response I have gotten from them this week. I was truly expecting whining, fussing, complaining, just awful, awful attitudes. Instead I received eager hearts. Don't get me wrong I have had a few small problems with the change, but for the most part they have truly cooperated with me. They have done an awesome job with their added chores, and I have been so blessed by them this week. As I continued dwelling on my week I was quickly reminded of some verses that were given to me for the week on God's faithfulness. So I want to share one with you tonight to remind you that God is faithful!! Lamentations (the small book between Jeremiah and Ezekiel) 3: 21-24 "Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope. Because of the Lord's great love we are not consumed, for his compassions never fail. They are new every morning; great is your faithfulness. I say to myself, "The Lord is my portion; therefore I will wait for him." I was just overwhelmed with peace and joy after dwelling on God's faithfulness to me this week!

No One Higher-Stand.wmv

2010-12-09T22:40:00.001-05:00

The song I have had on my heart for a couple of weeks now. I samuel 2:2 "There is no one holy like the Lord; there is no one besides you; there is no Rock like our God."

Before the throne of God above - Shane and Shane

2010-11-01T22:26:00.000-04:00

Passages I'm dwelling on

2010-08-20T14:27:00.000-04:00

SIN!!

(Noah mad because he didn't get what he wanted)

Is this the way I look to Christ when I don't put off the old self and put on Christ?

The verses I am deeply dwelling on lately is from Colossians 3:8-9, 12-13 and Proverbs 15:1. As I studied the book of Romans with my mentor the thing that seem to come out of that quite often is the concept of "putting off the old self and putting on Christ". Again now as we are working through a different study it continues to come up. (I guess I'm a little hard headed and have to be reminded often). The Colossians passage reads: Put off all these: anger, wrath, malice, blasphemy, filthy language out of your mouth. Do not lie to one another. ...Put on tender mercies, kindness, humbleness of mind, meekness, longsuffering; bearing with one another, and forgiving one another...even as Christ forgave you, so you also must do. I find that I struggle with anger and wrath quite often with my children, and maybe even filthy language out of my mouth in that the way that I talk to them sometimes is a little condescending. I try to teach them that in everything we do we are to glorify and honor Christ. So on one hand I'm trying to teach them the right way and yet on the other hand my example teaches them the opposite. It is so hard sometimes to not allow those ugly sins to creep up and out. But that is what God requires of me: put off the ugliness and put on beauty-Christ. I am working on walking in the verse "A soft/gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger." Remembering that my response to them should be soft and gentle is where I find myself. Sometimes I'm quick to speak and it comes out harsh. God continues to teach me everyday as each child has their issues or bad day by reminding me of putting off anger and wrath and filthy language and be loving and kind toward them and be merciful toward them. Another thing I've actually learned this week and have begun to recognize is bitterness comes in when they are struggling and not obeying and not loving each other and their attitudes are disrespectful. Just this week I had to push away the bitterness that was trying to rear it's ugly head when my child was arguing with me and I'm trying to get everybody to my friend's house. I had a dr.'s appointment and new I needed to leave at a certain time. Because I was struggling with this child the time I left was much later than what I wanted to leave. On a normal day I would have been okay and made it right on time or within 15 minutes. We ran into a traffic jam on the way and therefore I was 20 minutes late and could not be seen that day and had to reschedule. As I was leaving the office and got in the van and headed home I just sat in silence and dwelt on the Bible study I had that morning on bitterness. On occasion I would have gotten upset and allowed bitterness to come into my heart towards those involved in causing us to be late and let it all out. That moment it would have been Paul probably getting to hear me rant and rave about what should have happened and we wouldn't have been late. Instead on this day God prepared my heart for what was ahead. My choice then was after getting into the van just sitting quietly (as he rants and raves) and meditating on what God was teaching me. Now since then it has had opportunities to come up again. As I have worked through this study with my mentor we are learning that we constantly need to look in the "mirror" and do some soul checking and making sure we are reflecting Christ. As I have now stopped and taken a look this week into my soul mirror I see that I have definitely not put off some of those ugly things. I do thank God for those moments I see where I have put on Christ, but there are so many other areas that still need working on. I will always be in the process of sanctification. I'm just a little impatient sometimes and want change to occur quickly. It doesn't always work that way. I pray that God will continue to help me overcome those areas I'm struggling with by continuing to place His Word daily in my heart to help me keep my soul in check.

hard lessons

2010-08-09T22:18:00.000-04:00

I hate watching my children learn hard lessons. Today I watched Jonathan have to learn a hard lesson. It wasn't a life altering hard lesson, but for him it was major. He wasn't getting what he wanted. Here's the story: We all go to Chic-fil-A for lunch after Abigail's swim lessons. I get them all a kids meal. Usually what happens when we eat in and get a kids meal they all trade in the book/toy for ice cream. Today, I reminded them of that. Jonathan tells us that he doesn't want ice cream today, so he opens the item that came in the happy meal. When it came time for the others to get their ice cream Jonathan gets upset because he wants ice cream (he also wants the item that came in the kids meal). We told him we weren't paying for an ice cream that we explained to him earlier about it. He begans to cry and get upset. You can see the hurt and disappointment in his eyes. We had to talk with him about listening to mommy and daddy. I think sometimes God feels the same way with us when He sees we are about to learn a hard lesson. He explains to us the result of our decision, but it is just that-our decision. He knows what the results will be for us when we make either decision. I believe His heart breaks for us when we choose to make the foolish choice and end up learning a hard lesson. So often we want our cake and eat it too, but God says you can only have it one way. We choose to obey or disobey. If we choose to disobey, it is encouraging to know that we are only one prayer away from healing and righteousness. 1 John 1:9 "If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and cleanse us from all unrighteousness."

2010-08-08T16:12:00.001-04:00

Here are some updated pictures of all of us. We went to the beach a few times. Everybody loves the beach. Timothy is not real keen on the water. It takes him a long time to have anything to do with the water. One day I took the kids to the Marbles Museum. It was a lot of fun. The last picture is of all of us at the Lincoln Memorial in Washington, DC. It was a lot of fun.

My journey

2010-08-06T23:37:00.000-04:00

As of July 31 this year we have now been in Wake Forest for 9 years. In some ways it has been long and in other ways it has seemed short/gone by fast. In the time here thus far I have been through many ups and downs. God is and has been faithful and I have learned so much. Not too long ago I found myself in a deep dark spiritual pit. I felt so alone and lost. I believe at this point and even questioned whether I was truly saved and whether I was going to Heaven. I was so not sure where I stood with God. It is a place that is very hard to describe and a place I hope I never go again. But through it all God never left me. The truth of the matter is I slowly and gradually walked away from God. I was still His, but I wasn't walking with Him. So many things were going on during this time that I was struggling with. I had a couple of friends having marriage problems and I was trying to encourage them. I found that in one of them that the friendship gradually began to change. I truly struggled with that. Part of it was selfishness on my part, but part of it was the enemy at work in both of our lives. Watching my friends walk this path was hard for me. I shared with them what I knew, but I still felt like I was failing them in giving them the advice they needed to push them on to Godliness and good works. God saw all of that and used it for a lesson for me. It was probably the beginning of my walk towards the pit and downward.

The Seminary life is really tough also. It can be financially hard, and I found myself stressing sometimes over finances and trying to figure out what I could do to help bring some money in. We both knew it was God's will for me to be at home. You see I was not totally depending on God. I was trying to do so many things on my own. Again walking further and further into the pit. The sad part is I didn't even realize what I was doing. During this time I also found that I was struggling with Abigail. She is very strong-willed and knows all the right buttons to push and pushes them all. This was another tool of the enemy that caused me to go further and further into the pit. I found myself sometimes making comparisons with other parents thinking their kids are good and obedient and they have it all together. This time period I really began to feel alone. God did send a special friend into the neighborhood and into my life that helped me begin to see that I wasn't alone. This is a special friendship that is so hard to find. Such an awesome spiritual friendship. (Thank you Amy for being such a wonderful friend especially during this hard time. I love you dearly and miss our times together). But as normal here, people come and go, but we remain. My friend moves to Georgia. This was hard for me again. Just when I find a friend that clicks with me on a spiritual level God moves her on. God was of course trying to show me that He is all that I need. Sure this friendship will always be special. I needed to see that God does give us special friends, but He will always be enough for us. Unfortunately, I am a little hard headed and I didn't get that yet. God would not give up on me. He never left me. God sent other dear friends in my life during this time also that encouraged me and listened. Thank you Marcy, Cari, Gina, and Jamie. What a wonderful bond of friendship we have even though we all are miles away. I love you all!

Next, we learned of a church plant downtown Raleigh and believed it would be a good place to learn: seeing as how we felt that when we finished school and moved on we would be ministering in the inner city. I knew a couple of the Pastors from one of the previous churches we attended and loved them. So we visited and fell in love with the church. Things were going a little better, but I still found myself struggling spiritually. I learned a lot here at this church, but because I was walking in the pit I found myself unhappy again. We were struggling with at this time Jonathan and Abigail wanting to go to church. Every Sunday was a battle or argument or struggle to get to church. Another tool the enemy was using. They enjoyed Sunday School, but for whatever reason they would say (actually mostly Jonathan) "I don't want to go to church". He did enjoy the fellowships the church would have after the service from time to time. The Pastor would ask some of us to walk around a few of the blocks around the church and invite people off the street to come in and eat with us a free meal. Jonathan loved that even though he didn't ask. We all went out together as a family and invited people to come. What a testimony to him and a lesson for him. I loved that. Unfortunately, I began to see that Paul and I were struggling each Sunday as well. For myself I felt I wasn't getting anything out of the service because of the children distracting us constantly. A tool the enemy used. I feel like during this time as well things were getting worse for me and Abigail. I was really having a hard time with her with discipline issues and communication issues. We were clashing bad!!! This is another point I felt I was still falling deeper into the pit. Again, God never left me, but I was pushing Him further and further away trying to figure things out on my own. Gas prices were going way up during this time also and we were having a hard time financially being able to fill up the van. I also felt that a wedge was being built between Paul and myself; another tool of the enemy. We both agreed we needed to find a church that had a great children's program and was much closer to the house.

We ended up at Richland Creek Community Church again. The kids seemed to enjoy Children's Church and that is what we were hoping for. God was putting us in a place we needed to be ready to receive. Shortly after going to the church I attended a Mother/Daughter tea with Abigail and heard an awesome message by a lady in the church, Tammy Schofield. God began to do a work in my heart a little at a time. The next event was a Women's Conference at the church. (Usually they do this out of town, but this particular time they decided to have it locally-again God is working). They offered a variety of classes for the women to choose from. One particular class I chose was "The Strong Willed Child". This was God ordained (my mentor would tell you the same thing as well)!!! Needless to say I cried just about the whole time I was there. God was continuing to work in my heart and pulling me in and showing me that I needed Him and He was enough! I still was struggling, but I began to see or feel a little hope. Shortly after this conference there was a meeting on Mentorship for the Women's Ministry. I attended this meeting (God ordained because I don't go to things like this not knowing anybody). The Women's Ministry is trying to start up a Mentoring Ministry following Titus 2. Guess who else attended this meeting? The lady who taught "The Strong Willed Child" class at the Women's Conference. Do you see God working? It is so good!! So during our time of getting to know one another I asked her if she would be willing to mentor someone who has a strong willed child. She agreed (She has an awesome story to tell about this also). I didn't know her very well, and she didn't know me. She only knew what she saw that day in class during the conference: a broken hearted girl who was struggling. Still to this day as I tell this story I feel the tears welling up. It is so hard to describe all the emotions I was feeling and going through during this difficult time. But God continued to give me a glimpse of hope. We began meeting in December I believe and it, along with God's help, has changed my life. It has nothing to do with her; it has to do with obedience to God from both of us-she and I. I feel I have grown so much in the last 9 months. I still have a strong willed child. God did not change her, and I wasn't asking Him to do that. I knew I was the one that needed to change. God has continued to be faithful to me and I am ever so thankful. Through meeting with my dear Mentor, Anna, I have learned how to deal with my strong willed child. Have I arrived? No. Sin will always rear its ugly head, but I have changed and am still working on being better at parenting her. I no longer feel I'm surrounded by darkness and loneliness. It is such an awesome feeling. Thank you Anna for being obedient as well. I'm honored to have you in my life and have learned so much from you. Thanks for being real with me. I love you dearly. God has placed another special friend, besides my wonderful mentor, who encourages me as well. God knew we both needed a special friendship so He allowed our paths to cross. Thank you Deborah for being obedient to God and being an example of what a relationship with Christ looks like. I love you friend!

This is where my journey has taken me thus far. I can't wait to see what God has in store for me and for my family. Still more to come.

It's about time for a new update you think?

2010-07-28T12:26:00.002-04:00

I have tried many times to update this blog, but I could never remember the password (Paul was the one who created the blog page). So he and I are at the table at the same time for lunch so I got the pass word.

Anyway, what a year and more it has been. We have had child #4, and he is a mess; such a sweet boy (until his siblings make him mad). We haved moved over to Flaherty Farms (still part of seminary housing). We changed churches to a church in Wake Forest (gas prices were way too high). And we've learned a lot through all that we've experienced since the last blog. I will update my lessons in a later blog. We are now homeschooling 2 of the 4. Most days they struggle with doing "school", but I just remind them of the benefits they have for being homeschooled. We started our school year this week, and it has gone pretty good.

To those who keep up with our blog, I am going to strive to keep it up on a regular basis.

More to come and more pictures to come.

2009-04-16T12:12:00.000-04:00

Noah

2009-04-16T12:10:00.000-04:00

Noah's 1st trip to the beach

A beautiful song to dwell on

2009-04-06T21:41:00.000-04:00

HE KNOWS MY NAME

(1)

I have a Maker

He formed my heart

Before even time began

My life was in His hand

(chorus)

He knows my name

He knows my every thought

He sees each tear that falls

and hears me when I call

(2)

I have a Father

He calls me His own

He'll never leave me

No matter where I go

(chorus)

He knows my name

He knows my every thought

He sees each tear that falls

and hears me when I call

(chorus)

He knows my name

He knows my every thought

He sees each tear that falls

and hears me when I call

(chorus)

He knows my name

He knows my every thought

He sees each tear that falls

and hears me when I call

He hears me when I call.

(Paul Baloche--Maranatha Friends)

updated pictures of the children

2009-03-29T21:04:00.012-04:00

(l to r) Timothy, Jonathan, Abigail, and Timothy (l to r) Jonathan, Noah, Abigail, and Timothy

Jonathan and Timothy

Jonathan

The above pictures were taken right outside the Charlotte Airport. We stopped there to eat on our way home from Spartanburg, SC. It was a better view than actually sitting at the parking deck at the airport.

Paul, Timothy, Abigail, and Jonathan in the pool at the hotel we stayed at in Spartanburg, SC

Abigail is "reading" books to Timothy. They play so well together (most of the time). Timothy has a book in his hand also.

Noah having his "play" time.

Abigail and Noah at Grandma's house a few weeks ago.

Timothy was soooo tired. He fell asleep sitting up in the chair at Grandma's house. I think he missed his nap that day.

Timothy decided to decorate his hair. He put mashed potatoes in his hair.

Like Father like son
Nap Time!!!!!

Timothy turns 2

2009-02-16T14:52:00.000-05:00

Timothy turned 2 on January 27.

The time sure goes by fast!

Noah is one month old

2009-02-16T13:52:00.004-05:00

Noah is now 1 month old January 28 (actually by now

he is 1 1/2 months old).

More fun pictures

2009-01-29T11:11:00.003-05:00

(Jonathan was playing the Wii when

I took these pictures.)

What a difference a haircut makes!

2009-01-29T11:04:00.001-05:00

Doesn't he look so different?

Guess who is who-Timothy or Noah?

2009-01-27T09:26:00.001-05:00

FUN IN THE SNOW

2009-01-21T13:35:00.007-05:00

We have just enough hill behind our apartment bldg to be able to sled. The kids took turns riding down the hill. Here is Abigail riding down the hill. It was a lot of fun.

Noah's first snow. Timothy's first snow was when he was about a week old.

Timothy was a bit overwhelmed with the snow. He did play in it and had fun. No, he doesn't have a black eye. He had blueberry poptart for breakfast and he rubbed some on his face. They all wanted to get outside to play I forgot to clean his face.

Here Jonathan is taking his turn. It is a lot of fun.

More breathing issues

2009-01-21T13:04:00.003-05:00

We were so hoping that Noah would not have the same issues as the others, but as you can tell he is following in the other's footsteps. Our children have sensitive airways, especially the boys. Noah started off with a cough which ended up with wheezing when he breathes. This usually means the airways are tightening or becoming smaller. Most of the time it requires a steroid/breathing treatment. We thought he might have RSV which is very contagious, but thank God he did not. We did have to keep a close watch on his breathing. God was great and took care of him. He is much better now.

After coming home from the hospital, I was not suppose to pick up anything heavier than the baby. One morning Timothy woke up with an awful cough. It was the croupy cough. He was struggling with his breathing as well. I gave him a breathing treatment to help open up the airways. Well unfortunately it takes some time for the medicine to work. Timothy was really struggling with his breathing. I was really close to taking him to the ER. I picked him up and stood in front of the freezer to get him to breathe in the cool air. I was not suppose to pick him up. He weighs close to 30 lbs. God was gracious. I was able to pick him up and stand for a good 20 minutes or so. I didn't feel anything pull from the C-section. Thankfully shortly after doing all that he started breathing better. I write this to show the goodness of God. TO GOD BE THE GLORY!!!

More pictures

2009-01-06T15:18:00.006-05:00

Going Home!

What a face!

Noah Joseph is here

2008-12-31T08:35:00.002-05:00

Here is Noah Joseph Eubanks

He was born December 28 at 6:06 am

He was 9 lbs 0 oz

He was 22 inches long

Everyone is doing well.

(More pictures to come)

Updated pictures of Timothy

2008-12-04T16:32:00.005-05:00

On the same day Jonathan and Abigail got their pictures made at school, I took Timothy to Southeastern Seminary and tried to take some pictures of him.

More pictures

2008-12-04T15:38:00.006-05:00

This is Timothy in a tote of newspapers.

We finally moved the beginning of November
to a 3-bedroom apartment on campus. We
definitely need the extra space now. Our apt
is the bottom floor in the corner.
Our new address is 1049 Thornrose Way
Wake Forest, NC 27587. I like the extra space.
I just have to get use to the noise from the people
above us.

Right before they tracked out of school, Abigail's
kindergarten class put on a play. She was a
native American girl (She is the one on the front
row in the aqua shirt and gray pants.) They all
did a great job.

Abigail finally got her turn at bringing the class
mascott, Bingo, home for doing a good job all
week.

I volunteered for Abigail's class trip in October.
They went to Vollmer Farm in Bunn. This is
the group I was with. We had a lot of fun. Before
we left, Abigail got a chance to pick her a pumpkin.
In the third picture, they are in corn making
corn angels.

In October we went to the state fair. The kids

had a great time. They were excited to because

they got to miss school that day.

We went to a church in Youngsville on

Halloween night. Abigail was a cheerleader,

Jonathan was a football player, and Timothy

was a lion. We had a lot of fun.

Here is a picture of my neighbor's little girl. I

was watching her for a few minutes, and I decided

to lay her down and Timothy decided he

wanted to lay down beside her.

New pictures

2008-12-04T15:31:00.003-05:00

Jonathan's 7th birthday. He got a lot of things. He is in to

football (and baseball) big time. Paul made him a field goal

for him to use that is at his level. He is a trip.

What the Lord is teaching

2008-10-09T15:57:00.002-04:00

I have been very slowly working through the Bible. I was reading in Exodus not too long ago. Starting in Exodus chapter 25 Moses is writing about the Tabernacle. The 1st thing that caught my attention was in chapter 25:1-9. The Lord told Moses to tell the people to take a contribution. God had specific details about the contributions- vs 3-7. In the chapters following God had very specific details about how the Tabernacle was to be built. I was reminded that God has very, very specific details for my life. Of course, there are some details He has planned out already that I don't know, but the awesome thing is He has every small detail laid out for my life. One question is - why do I struggle with certain things in my life. Such as this pregnancy. Fear has gripped my heart quite a bit more with this pregnancy. Watching two precious families lose their babies has put me on an emotional roller coaster for a bit. I have been reminded through it all that God is sovereign, and He is in control. He may have chosen us to walk a similar path ("the specific details He has planned out"), I don't know, and if He does I have learned, through watching these families' journey that God is no respecter of persons. He will give us the grace we need for that journey (or any journey He puts us on). There are many things to learn while on the journey. My prayer is that through the suffering/journey that I will be found faithful. I will share more on the lessons later.

The Newest news

2008-10-09T15:26:00.002-04:00

Yes you have read his shirt right. He is going to be a big brother. Some of you may know already, but I know there are a few I haven't told yet. I found out when I was about 16 weeks pregnant. I'm now about 26-27 weeks pregnant. The due date is January 4. It could possibly be a Christmas baby. We shall see. We have had an ultrasound done and decided to find out what we are having and it is a boy. Abigail wants a sister, so that is the reason we decided to find out what we were having ahead of time so we could talk to her about it. She accepted it a whole lot better than I ever anticipated, but I really think in the back of her mind there could be a sister after she gets the brother. I said this is it-no more. She is funny. She is still excited about the new baby brother. Jonathan is also.

I have finally updated this blog

2008-09-24T16:33:00.012-04:00

Timothy's 1st birthday

Easter pictures

Jonathan & Abigail and our neighbor, Walker, made the front page of the Wake Forest paper, The Wake Weekly. They were pushing the "snow" sled down the hill (notice there is no snow). The cameraman for the newspaper was actually across the road at the high school looking for pictures to take of the ballgame (which was over) when he saw the children playing. It was really cool.

Jonathan playing baseball. He played on the Rockies team (through the Town of Wake Forest). It was a lot of fun. It is definitely into sports. He really wants to do football. Maybe next year.

below: We went on vacation in May. We started out in Georgia by surprising some of our dear friends with a visit. Then on to Daytona Beach. We were there a whole week. We played in the pool and at the beach. We went to the Daytona International Speedway race track. That was really neat. I think it would have been a lot cooler had there actually been race cars everywhere.

We went to Disney World. The kids loved that as well. We also went to NASA Spacecenter. The shuttle was actually on the launch pad the day we were there. It was to launch the very next day.

How do you like our little astronauts?

We celebrated Abigail's birthday in July. Of course we had fireworks afterwards.

I will post some soon.

Updated pictures

2007-12-01T15:55:00.000-05:00

Abigail played in the cold water
and enjoyed it. Jonathan said
it was too cold for him. She was
so fun to watch.

We took this picture on campus.

We got to go to Myrtle Beach with family over

the Thanksgiving holiday. It was so nice!

Jonathan's 1st school play (Jonathan is in the

front row with black shirt and green pants.)

Timothy playing with the Christmas tree.

Timothy's 9 months

God is so good!!

2007-10-14T20:37:00.000-04:00

God is so good. When we are not faithful to God He is always faithful to us. God provided a need today even when we have not been faithful. God is good all the time and all the time God is good.

Time flies

2007-10-07T17:59:00.001-04:00

We celebrated Jonathan's b-day in September. It is so hard to believe he is 6 years old. As you can see he is into race cars. He is very knowledgeable of racing. You can ask him just about any question about the drivers and he could probably answer you. The top picture is what we had for Jonathan at home. The cupcakes were sent to his school for snack time.

The day of his b-day. The shirt is his class shirt. (Notice the teachers shirt.)

In his class at school, when it is someones birthday, the teacher (pictured with Jonathan above) makes a hat for them, and they get to serve their classmates the snack they brought for their birthday. Below is a picture of his class.

We celebrate with our neighbors.

B-day with Nana & Papa. He got his favorite book. Nana and Papa came to our house to celebrate his birthday.

Birthday at Grandma's. We celebrated 3 birthdays. It was Jonathan's, Uncle Doug's (Paul's brother), and mama's (Pam).

Timothy at the party at Grandam's.

2007-09-13T12:58:00.000-04:00

Over the weekend we went to Atlantic Beach, while we were visiting Paul's mom and brother, to see what Tropical Storm Gabrielle was doing. The kids loved it because they got a chance to play at the beach again. Abigail made me a little nervous because she wanted to go out a little bit more and a little bit more and the rip currents, of course, were a little strong. We had a good time even though we didn't stay but for a short time. It started pouring down rain and the wind was blowing strong so it was pretty tough to stay out. Anyway, hope you enjoy the pictures.

Timothy at 7 months

2007-09-13T12:00:00.000-04:00

I had a lot of fun taking these pictures. This is such a fun age because they fun to take pictures of.

Updated pictures

2007-08-20T21:57:00.001-04:00

This is Timothy's personality. He is so laid back usually. He is so funny. Abigail loves him to death.

Jonathan & Abigail both love to hold Timothy any chance they can. It is usually not for very long though.

Timothy's 1st time in his little tub. He's used to taking a shower. He loved it.

Our church had a church fellowhip at the Mudcat game we had a lot of fun.

Time for school

2007-08-20T21:26:00.000-04:00

It's that time of the year. In the last few months Paul and I have been talking about putting Jonathan in school instead of homeschooling him. For now we thought it would be best for him right now in his life. Our base school is Heritage Elementary which is year round school. Therefore, July 9 was the first day of school. Jonathan only had to go to school that week for one day for evaluation. The 16th he started officially with the whole class. He has done so good. I really thought it was going to be rough taking him to his class, but he was great. He went right on in to his class and didn't look back. He loves it. I thank God for what He has done in Jonathan's life. His teacher says he is doing very good. We watched a video of what they do in class during Open House, and we were so proud of him. When the teacher ask the class a question he raised his hand and wanted to answer the question. For Jonathan that is an accomplishment. We love his teacher; she is wonderful. When I registered him for school, because I had not tested him after we finished kindergarten, the principle said he had to start in kindergarten. I was a little disappointed at first, but the more I thougt about it the more I saw it would be the best thing for him. Please continue to pray for him that he will continue to love school. And pray for Abigail also. She is not use to not having him around. She had a rough couple of weeks after he started. She was very sad because she missed him. She seems to be doing better now. Today was the beginning of Jonathan's track out. He went for 6 weeks and he is out for 3 weeks. Before he was out he already had his 3 weeks planned out-it was so funny. He was going to Nana & Papa's for 5 days, Grandma & Uncle Doug's for 5 days, and Myrtle Beach for 5 days. (Of course we can only do part of that, but it was nice to hear his plan.) Paul started classes last Thursday. Time to get into the swing of things. So here we go. I took some pictures of Jonathan when I picked him up from school and when I dropped him off for school. I hope you enjoy.

Our eventful week

2007-07-08T01:55:00.000-04:00

Timothy enjoyed the fireworks as well as my mom. He watched them the whole time. The noise didn't bother him at all.

The fireworks

Cookout for the 4th (on the 3rd)

Abigail's birthday

This week has been eventful. On Tuesday we celebrated Abigail's 4th birthday. I cannot believe she is 4 years old already. Boy the time goes by way too fast. My mom came to be here with us on Abigail's birthday. That evening we had a 4th of July cookout with our neighbors/friends, and afterwards we went "up to the hill" across from the high school and watched fireworks. It was so much fun. I don't know what we will do if/when we ever move from here and there are no fireworks on the third; Abigail will be so confused (Wake Forest always does their fireworks on the third instead of the fourth. Therefore if you want to go to Raleigh and see the fireworks on the fourth you can.) We are showing our next door neighbor what seminary life is all about. He is now hooked-he wants to do some more cookouts. His family came to town for the fourth and that night we had pizza outside with them and their family and a neighbor from across the street. It was a lot of fun. Thursday night they invited us to come over and eat because they were cooking ribs on the grill. It was so good and a lot of fun. We love to just throw something together at the last minute and have friends over. Anyway, I left pictures of our week. Hope you enjoy.

Fun pictures

2007-07-02T02:00:00.000-04:00

How do you like this? The men are playing ball in between the two apartments. I think at this time there was only one kid playing with them. This is what I call fun. (We miss you Big Jim and Ricky. You would have loved this.) Guess what the women were doing during this time? Watching children and "fellowshipping" (We miss you Amy and Laurie. We would have had fun also.

Timothy seemed to enjoy the beach again. This was his second trip. What is funny is Jonathan and Abigail did not go "in the water" until Timothy did. And when they did go they loved it.

We went to the Aquarium last weekend while we were at the beach and the kids loved it. Jonathan and Abigail loved the really large tank of fish.

We got a kick out of watching Timothy following the fish in the tank swimming around.

Humbleness and the cross

2007-07-02T00:55:00.000-04:00

Today we experienced a special time with some special friends. In just a few months they will be headed to Costa Rica for 6 months and then on to Mexico for 3 years. Today our friend Mark was ordained as a minister. The whole process of being ordained is very humbling. Paul had the opportunity to sit on the panel for Mark's ordination and experienced a humbling moment reflecting on his own life. Watching Mark and Angie and their daughter today and knowing the journey they are about to embark on was humbling. Mark had a friend speak about him at the service today and spoke of the different journeys that the Dunn family have been on since becoming Christians. He had such powerful things to say. As I thought about their journey and thought about the journey we are on I'm quickly convicted. Mark and Angie were faithful servants in every aspect of their walk with God. Knowing all they have been through here at Southeastern they remained faithful to God and trusted Him with all their hearts even when they could not see sometimes where God was working. I don't think I could say that about my life. It seems this weekend I have been reminded a few times of the cross. In their life they looked hard at the cross. A new couple here at Southeastern helped to remind me of our time here and what God has done for us and how He brought us through these last 6 years. Worry is an issue that is a common issue in this lifestyle it seems. Again I was reminded of the cross. Our Pastor has mentioned so many times of looking to the cross, but this weekend it has ministered to me in such a powerful way. When we look at Romans 8:31-39 we see God's everlasting love. What can seperate us from the love of God? Nothing. If God is for us who can be against us? What a comfort. What a hope. What a joy. Why should I be distressed or cast down when I have the cross to look to. Romans 8:26-28 says that the Spirit helps in our weaknesses. For when I don't know what I should pray the Spirit Himself is interceding for me. We have seen times here when we don't know what to pray, but oh what a comfort that when we are weak and don't know what to pray the Spirit is interceding for us. In experiencing this weekend in such a unique way I am truly humbled and convicted of things that need to change in my life. "Oh God help us not forget the cross and what it truly means for us. Thank you for Your Son Jesus. Thank You that according to Romans 8:32 that You did not spare Your own Son but delivered Him up for us all. Thank You that You are for me, now help me to be for others and share Your love with all." Just as Mark's pastor encouraged him and charged him to pray for one hour each day, my heart was checked in my time with the Father. I pray that all who read this will take a moment and dwell on the cross and all that it represents.

2007-06-09T17:54:00.000-04:00

More pictures from the beach.

2007-06-09T15:48:00.000-04:00

Memorial day weekend we decided to go to the beach for the day. This was a much needed trip for me (Pam). Even though it was very, very busy it was still nice and peaceful. It always amazes me of how God created the ocean the way He did. I'm always reminded of His power when watching the waves and listening to the waves coming in and going out. Although Jonathan, Abigail, and I had been this season already, this was Timothy's first visit to the beach. He seemed to like the water after the first initial shock of the cold water. We had a lot of fun.

2007-06-09T15:44:00.000-04:00

Now that school is out we get to do what we love to do here at seminary-have a cookout. Don't they look like they're having fun. (If you look close enough-Paul has a water hose in his hand-the burgers were "on fire".) This is our graduation cookout. One of the families is leaving very soon (a part of life here at Southeastern) to prepare to go to Mexico for 3 years. The other couple will be leaving sometime to go to Gordon-Conwell. "We are still here". (I don't have any pictures of the other families-just the kids.) Isn't that a cute pair of babies?

2007-05-31T15:21:00.000-04:00

Timothy Elisha Eubanks born January 27, 2007-His first pictures. I figured since we just created this Blog page I would include his baby pictures. We hope you enjoy them.

Baby Dedication

2007-05-30T11:46:00.000-04:00

We dedicated Abigail and Timothy to the Lord before the church. Pastor Sean is asking us questions here in which we answer "we do" and then he prays. We love our church. After five years searching and waiting for where God needed us to be we finally are at a church that is all about ministering to those who feel they have no hope. The Bible says we are to take care of the poor, the orphans, and the widow. The heart of the Pastors is to reach and minister to people of all cultures. We have so many opportunities to minister at and through this church in the way we feel God has called us-inner-city ministry. Our children will learn a great deal about ministring to the poor here at this church and with the people we worship and grow together and strive to "treasure Christ" more; thus called Treasuring Christ Church.

2007-05-30T01:50:00.000-04:00

Our trip to the airshow in Havelock-Cherry point. It's very loud, but a lot of fun.

Timothy 3-months

2007-05-29T22:35:00.000-04:00

I decided to take Timothy's 3-month picture myself instead of taking him to the studio. Jonathan helped me get him to smile; he did a good job.

day trip to airport

2007-05-29T22:18:00.000-04:00

Our day out-a trip to the airport to watch the planes and play in the sand. I wanted an updated picture of the children, and the grass there was very green and beautiful (unlike our grass where we live-brown and dying). Timothy is 3 months old here. This is Timothy's 3rd visit to the airport, but his first picture here. We love visiting the airport.

I finished!

2007-05-29T21:57:00.000-04:00

Well it has finally happened, after six years I finally graduated from the college. I will now begin the next step the masters level in the seminary. I could not have made it this far without the support of my wife, my children, my family and friends thanks to all of you.